A brand to die for

Haven’t you ever thought of Religion as a brand with the greatest equity?

It’s a product nobody has seen, but it sells like hot cakes. It has multiple brand ambassadors and enjoys complete monopoly. Talk about early indoctrination and catching them young – no other brand has managed such a good job.

Strong brand personality, ardent following – we have it all. They teach us you can’t sell a brand by scaring your TG or by shoving them into the throes of guilt. Well?

Come to think of it. They’ve created an invisible entity that’s supposed to govern all life. And to make sure you believe in it, they’ve created another invisible entity that screws your life and after-life if you don’t believe.

You’ll go to hell if you don’t pray!

Sure, whatever.

And they tell me a brand can’t have a menacing tone of voice.

David Ogilvy said something, na? Ki you keep hammering the brand name so people just go pick up a pack.

Aren’t all the prayers some sort of a brand strategy?

All the prayers I know keep making you repeat stuff like, ‘Lord I believe in you’.

You keep saying it till you actually start believing.

You know how wearing a Nike makes you feel like you’re just gonna do it. And that you’re a winner etc. Maybe Brand religion does that to you in a temple or whatever place of worship. I got a darshan, a glimpse of god. Wowee! I’m a step closer to moksha.

I just sprinkled water all over the home. Yay, it’s pure now!

Religion is a best-seller.

Brand personality? Protector. Protects from er… invisible entity.

There’s no questioning the efficacy. It’s selling bigtime. Don’t we all know about the filthy rich… err.. sorry… rich religious institutions? The sales graphs are sky-rocketing.

Check the benefit. Redemption! And to think we make such feeble attempts at redemption offers.

This one even comes with a brand manual. In print, etched in stone, we have it all.

We’re also talking huge market share here. Maybe 99%. How many atheists do you know?

And it has a Brand following so ardent, people kill for it and die for it!