Promotion Commotion

I’ve been following these promos a few brands have been doing. First ball ka captain, star of the match and what not. It all sounds blasphemous to me. I firmly believe some things are sacrosanct and cannot be tampered with. You can’t get to stand in the field amidst national and international players just because you use a product. That privilege has to be earned through sheer hard work. Obviously the marketing managers think otherwise.

I’m wondering what else this world will come to.

One day Tendulkar will call home, “What’s for dinner, honey.”

“Baigan ka bharta, sweetie.”

“But you know I’m allergic to baigan, loved one. Or do you like me better with a zillion blisters all over?”

“I know, silly. But Kishen Khubchandani likes baigan ka bharta. So that’s what we’re gonna eat.”

“Kishen who?”

“The winner of Visa Visit Sachin contest. He’s coming tonight remember?”

“Never mind. Have you brought the kids from school?”

“No. But they’re on their way.”

“ALONE?”

“Don’t be silly, lord and master-blaster. Gurpreet Gill is bringing them.”

“What…who?”

“The winner of the Chevrolet Drive Your Favourite Cricketer’s Kids Home From School contest.”

I wonder what other sacrosanct areas consumers will pollute.

• Use Castrol Motor Fuel and drive the Chandrayaan 2. If ‘drive’ is the right word.

• Google search users get to head CBI for a day.

• Hindustan Times readers get to sit through the ballot counting.

• Thums up drinkers get to present the Param Vir Chakra.
  

• Ford drivers get to drive one of the tankers in the republic day parade.

• Zippo users get to ride with the firemen when they’re on the job.

• Saffola users get to attend a bypass. And maybe insert the first vein flow in the patient.

• Revlon users get to visit Shabarimala.

Disclaimer: All the names and brands mentioned above have simply been put because they came to my mind. None of them has anything to do with me or this post. However I have no objection to any of them using these ideas for promos.