Satan Santa

Such cool, wintry mornings these are, na. So Christmassy. Takes you back to school days. This was the time we’d all practise carols. Oh how I loved the carol practice. Especially because we got to skip class for it! And then the final programme the day before the Christmas vacation began. Every year was the same. The ‘Birth of Jesus’ play, carol singing, and finally the Santa act. Somebody dressed as Santa throwing candy to the audience, and all of us scampering after them.
While I take this trip down memory lane, I drag the beloved into the conversation. “Honey, you remember Christmas time back in school days? Did you have a Santa too? Throwing candy and all?”
“Yeah sure” he says, continuing to shave. Without batting a fixed-on-the-mirror eyelid, he adds, “Our Santa carried a stick.”
“You’re confusing him with someone else, dearest.” I tell him. “Santa’s the kind-hearted, pot-bellied gent who goes around giving goodies for free.”
“I know,” he says, all attention fixed on a sideburn, “he carried a bag full of candy in one hand and a stick in the other.”
“Whatever for?”
“To beat the children with.”
“To WHAT?”
A big grin on his after-shaved face, he goes on, “Can’t blame him though.”
“No?”
“See, it’s like this. Our school always had a peon dressed as Santa. And the kids knew that. So every time the Santa act began, the kids would mob him and try to pull at his robe and mask. They wanted to see if it’s Shivajirao or Prakash. Eventually the peons started carrying sticks, which was the only way to ensure the act reached an uneventful end!”