Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Fantasizing about a celebrity

Creative Directors are paid to imagine. So, the higher a CD is paid, the more bizarre the imagination is. A look at some of the celebrity ads will tell you how wild the CD is. Fantasizing about Kareena shampooing with Head n Shoulders and Priyanka Chopra bathing with Lux.

Their thinking belies their heavy pay packets. One would think they’ve never seen an affluent life. And also that they’ve never heard celebrities use mainly foreign products and shop abroad even for a pair of bathroom slippers. Here’s how these ad gurus collectively portray the lives of some of the celebrities.

Hrithik Roshan comes home every evening, takes off his John Players shirt and roams around his home in his Rupa Macroman banian. After a while, he strips even that and goes for a shower with Cinthol soap. Then he probably has a snack of Hide n Seek biscuits (dancing all the time, of course), washes it down with Coke and hits the bed.

Hema Malini wakes up every morning, washes down breakfast with water from her Kent RO purifier and straight heads to Bank of Rajasthan to withdraw cash (from her own account, silly).

Rani Mukherjee comes home from a shoot, steps out of her chevrolet aveo, pops in a munch and guzzles a fanta. After which she’s about to the hit the shower but her mom stops her. Mama dear personally hands her a bar of Margo soap and gives her some jargon about how good it is for her skin. All of which the obedient daughter follows completely. (Check the ad, I swear Rani admits all of this on screen.)

Shahrukh Khan is dressing up in the morning. We shall dwell over this procedure for a while. Dressed only in a towel, he pours a torrent of Navratan powder over himself. Then he works on his face with Emami cream (for men). That done, he dresses in a Mayur suit and finally wears his Tag Heuer watch. He then watches Dish tv, while having breakfast. Which, of course, is Sunfeast biscuits and pepsi. After that, he finally leaves for the ‘kya aap paanchvi pass se tez hain’ shoot. In a Santro, of course!

There’s one thing I really wonder. The CDs, we all agree, are letting their imagination run amok. But what are these celebrities doing to themselves? Don’t they stop to think before signing a contract?

Not surprisingly though, there’s one celebrity whose ad portrait, though painted by different CDs, absolutely matches with his real life image.

Amir Khan drinks Coke, wears a Titan watch, talks on a Samsung mobile phone, and drives away in a Toyota Innova. Everything believable. True or not, but definitely possible!

Of course, at the other end of the 'believable' spectrum is Govinda. One look at him and you know it’s perfectly natural for the guy to lagao Navratna hair oil and walk around the streets in a Rupa banian.

You wouldn’t need close scrutiny to realize that there’s a Big celebrity missing from this list. But his ad portrait would make a separate post by itself.


Akshay said...

I think this is a really funny post!! Even people really know that these "stars" really don't use these all these products....I guess whatever works....

Rupesh Kashyap said...

Funny, i just laughed out loud. And the reason is your angst against 'Creative Director' or 'Creative Directors'
But oneday, when you have to handle this situation what would you do? Because, sometimes cds r not the culprits instead their 'partners' to blame for these silly ads. Here 'Partners' means clients. (LOL)

though, very funny and true post.

assorted cookies said...

Hey..found your blog through Rajesh Ramaswamy's reading list. I found this post really funny. You missed out Shah Rukh's job - teaching at the Belmonte Academy of style :)

mads said...

@ assorted cookies

Thanks, dude.
And you're right about SRK.
That one's worth an entire post.