Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I’m related to people I don’t relate to.

So said Calvin, the cartoon character. But I don’t think he faced half the problems I do. He wasn’t born in a traditional South Indian family, you see.
Recently, I had to attend a cousin’s engagement ceremony. I rushed straight from Famous to Matunga (where else?). Along with my family, my kanjeevaram and those kilos of gold were caught in traffic. So, in the blasphemous jeans-and-tee avatar, I made an unintentionally dramatic entry.
As I was slinking in, I heard the pandit say, “Sarva mangala maangalye shive, who-is-this-and-why-is-she-here?”
Spewing more venom through her eyes than a planner whose brief one rejects, peddamma, my aunt, said, “Ignore her, panthulu gaaru, she is like that only. What to do? We had to invite her.”
So panthulu gaaru continued the mantras, looking askance at me every now and then. As I was sitting there, head hung low, the most sympathetic of my aunts sat next to me.
“Coming straight from office aa?”
Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, she spat out the words,
“You go to office like this only? Cotton clothes? You don’t have silk t-shirt or something?”
I was about to mutter some explanation but she continued,
“You wear plastic spectacles? At least you can afford gold-rimmed glasses like your uncle’s?”
I took off the specs, “Actually, athai….”
She launched into a harangue, “Whaat actually? Your visiting card has some fancy post no? And your earrings are so small! Your boss is not embarrassed to see you like this? They agree to take you for meetings?”
Quickly, she blew the clarion, and a herd of aunts surrounded me. Within two minutes, I was suddenly looking acceptable. Jeans and tee, 6 huge gold bangles on each hand, huge gold earrings that reached my shoulders, hair parted in the centre and in the parting, a huge golden thingy that covered half my forehead. As you’d know, I have not a single photograph of myself in the ceremony!

9 comments:

Raindrop said...

u write so well dear. crisp and funny :) can totally relate to this!

My parents had taken me to be 'seen' by a prospective groom once. His parents looked at me (in presence of my parents) and asked me how much I made. I mentioned my salary and they said...'it is not bad but then you must be practicing the philosopy of simple living, high thinking'.

i smiled

they said 'why else would there so less Gold on you'?

i didn't know where to look!

Dez said...

Oh how I'd love to see you in gold-rimmed spectacles ... :)

Anonymous said...

Browse Around This Website

Also visit my webpage; forclosure
My web page: homes in foreclosure

Anonymous said...

95 Search engine optimization tips and tricks

Feel free to surf to my web page - attorney leads
Here is my webpage : leads for lawyers

Anonymous said...

Full Report

my weblog - attorney leads
My homepage :: seo for attorneys

Anonymous said...

It is the best time to make some plans for the future and
it is time to be happy. I've read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it!

My weblog :: 34459

Anonymous said...

Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
you make blogging look easy. The overall look of
your website is excellent, as well as the content!

my website; "ephemera"

Anonymous said...

you are in point of fact a excellent webmaster.
The site loading pace is amazing. It kind of feels
that you're doing any distinctive trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you've performed
a excellent activity in this matter!

my blog Mormente.com

Anonymous said...

Now that I've just devoted two hours on your website reading your posts, I'm
absοlutely hooked οn your blog. I addеd
it aѕ a favoritе it to my bookmarks liѕt and will be checkіng
back in the neаг future. Check оut
my own personal blοg if you gеt the chance and giѵe me feedback.

.

Also visit my homepage 67816